I am delighted to welcome Laura Moreno-Davis who I met virtually through the weekly discussion #AbuseTalk that I host as a Twitter Chat each Wednesday evening 8-9pm GMT.  I particularly admire Laura’s work as narcissistic abuse is rather complex and often difficult for the victim to realise that they have been subjected to this type of abuse. I hope this blog post will open your eye’s to what narcissistic abuse looks like and visit Laura’s website.

We ALL Have A Story To Tell…What’s Yours?

During the pinnacle of my 8-years of narcissistic abuse, I vowed that one day I was going to not only “tell my story” but also share it with the world!! At the time, I didn’t know how I was going to do that. Would it be a blog or maybe an e-book? Perhaps I’d write it as some sort of poetry or prose? I really had no clue, but what I did know was that I’d become a passionate advocate for women in narcissistic abusive relationships.

I spent 8 years with a narcissistic sociopathic monster and yet I never even learned the term “narcissist” or “narcissistic abuse” until a girlfriend of mine shared it with me. She’d seen my roller coaster of a marriage from her front row seat in my life. We started working at the same company on the same day. You see, I’d left my beloved home city of Chicago to move to Baltimore with no family or friends here. She became my first friend. A few years later, she moved to Atlanta. I was still married to the “Narc.” I remember she called me one day to tell me that she’d been dating someone who reminded her of him. So much so, she told her therapist about her guy and mentioned she had a girlfriend who was married to someone very similar. That’s when the therapist told her both men sounded like narcissists and perhaps they had “narcissistic personality disorder.”

That’s when the light bulb went off for me! I researched the crap out of the topic. And there, described perfectly in black and white, was the insanity I’d been living for years. It might as well have had my Narc’s profile picture (or mug shot)! I sought out and joined tons Facebook groups on the subject. I knew my friends and family probably thought I’d gone crazy all these years. But there was article after article and FB groups with tons of people, who like me, who had gone through this type of abuse.

Then, one evening around August 2017 or so, I was sitting on my couch after work and this idea just hit me. It sort of took me by surprise because I wasn’t even thinking about it at all. I grabbed a notebook and began scribbling out the plan for what is now my passion project I call “SpunkyDiva Diaries.”

While the catalyst for creating this blog website is for me to share my story, I didn’t want my life to be “defined” solely by my abuse. I completely lost myself during those 8 years. When I left the Narc to start life on my own, I didn’t know who I was, what I liked or what made me happy anymore. I was a ghostly shell of the woman I used to be. Those 8 years were spent confined in a prison of being locked up in someone else’s “box” only to like what he liked, behave the way he wanted me to, and do what he said do.

It’s taken me some time and several health challenges on my healing journey to get where I am today. But, I do what I do to spread the word and share my story. I used to say if it just helps one person from going through what I did, then it will all have been worth it. But, now I’ve changed that to I’m trying to help as many people as I possibly can! What’s crazy to me is this type of abuse affects all races, ethnicities, genders, socio-economic status, cultures, education levels, etc. It doesn’t discriminate!

What I’ve learned, however, is that there is strength and power in speaking your truth. Sharing my story has been healing and very therapeutic for me. It has also inspired others. I don’t eat, breathe and live this topic for that would be too toxic and unhealthy. However, I focus on learning as much as I can so that I may continue to write articles and speak on this topic to help someone who is where I once was—in a narcissistic abusive relationship. I want them to know they are not alone. I want them to know that you can leave…walk away and never look back. I want them to know that they can be as strong as I was to say “Enough is Enough!!” I want them to know that there is an entire community of us who’ve survived and started our lives over. I want them to know that the peace and (eventual) happiness on this side of the darkness is worth what it takes to leave the abuse. I want them to know that “SpunkyDiva Diaries” is for THEM.

I have dedicated “SpunkyDiva Diaries” to real women like myself who are either in or have survived narcissistic relationships foremost. But, it’s also dedicated to women who’ve survived other challenges and tragedies in life. It’s dedicated to women who’ve started their own small business or side business because they’ve finally chosen to follow their dreams and passions. It’s dedicated to all of us “Divas” who are loving life again – we’re traveling, enjoying good food and beverage, smoking cigars and being “Boss Divas” in our own lives again!
I encourage everyone reading this to please visit our website and read the following posts on narcissistic abuse. Learn about it so you can help someone else you know…and believe me after you learn what it is, you’ll easily recognize someone in your life that has gone through it or still in a relationship.

I Have A Story To Tell – My personal account in prose form
What The Heck Is A Narcissist
Narcissistic Abuse 101 – What Is It & Why Don’t More People Know About It
Narcissistic Abuse 101: How To Spot The Signs – Part 1
Narcissistic Abuse 101: How To Spot The Signs – Part 2
Narcissistic Abuse 101: How To Spot The Signs – Part 3 –Coming Soon!
Poem: Warrior Diva – Inspirational poem for future survivors

Join my #SpunkyDivaTribe and #ShareYourStory! If you would like to share your story, even anonymously, I’d be honored to post it on “SpunkyDiva Diaries.” I would send you out an interview questionnaire that you would fill out and send back to me (or repost from one of your social accounts). You could also write whatever you’d like in any format to describe your experience – poem, testimony, etc.
Be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for more blog posts on narcissistic abuse & other cool stories!

Thank you Laura for sharing with us all what you do and your useful links. I know I have some more reading to do now and I look forward to sharing my story with you.

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