I’ll soon be doing something I have never done and that’s going on a solo holiday. In February I shared a blog post about how I have been working through an identity crisis. I knew back in November that I needed to take space away from everything and everyone but I was unable to do this. That’s going to all change as I spend a week in Greece which is going to be filled with taking the space I need but I will of course go on adventures.

When I first left the abusive relationship I was anxious about walking down a street on my own. It took steps to go onto public transport because of my anxiety levels. I remember getting on a train on my own for the first time, I didn’t feel comfortable being on my own. This came from being overshadowed by his presence in the relationship and moving on to thinking he knew my whereabouts at all times.

Going on a plane for the first time EVER without another adult is going to be a huge milestone for me. Followed by attempting to have guilt-free time to give my mind a break and actively practice healing.

I know this is going to be an incredible challenge for me but I know deep down that I deserve to take this mental break.

You’ve probably noticed changes to my content on social media and here on my blog, there’s been a lack of consistency and I have been working on being comfortable in my own skin. I know that having the chance to reset will allow me to come back with fresh eyes. I have had to protect myself from further mental strain over the last few months and so I have been careful about how much material I consume that’s linked to domestic abuse. Having the ability to do this for me shows that I have grown because there was a time I would have burnt myself out completely.

In the last 9 months of my life:

• Diagnosis of a medical condition
• Discovered my sexuality
• Uncovered unhealed sexual trauma
• Realised I was living with the survival tactics I  created in the abusive relationship
• Identity Crisis
• Childhood Trauma surfaced
• Separated from my husband
• Surviving as a single mum of three and running 2 businesses

I started this journey of sharing my lived experiences of domestic abuse around five years ago and it only feels fair to share this with you. Some will wonder why I don’t keep it personal, my reason is that the world is full of edited feeds and that can be very isolating. I know the different aspects of my journey make a difference and I will continue to share until it stops doing so. I receive emails and messages all the time with expressions of how my story has helped. Perhaps I am sharing this because recently I have felt vulnerable.

Behind the scenes, I have been finalising my latest project The Funky Frecks in the hope for it to be published in September. I have also been journaling heavily about what I am learning about myself and I am sure this will be material that can be shared in the future when I feel more comfortable.

Thank you for your continued support and I look forward to sharing just how much my solo holiday helps me in my healing journey.