I never thought I would share that getting tattoos would become a therapy for me after years growing up being encouraged to keep my skin bare and it being less socially acceptable.
But my first tattoo was a result of the separation from the abusive person I had been with for some years, it’s the reason why I’ve done the work I have done within the domestic abuse sector and within the public sector to raise awareness of an unhealthy person to be in a relationship with. At the time, the tattoo was there to signify that I can do what I wish with my body and I remember feeling empowered to have been able to take this step.
Almost 12 years ago, I got this first tattoo, a bow on my ankle which is a reminder to me that I can hold myself together and that I can do what I wish with my body.
It’s only until the last couple of years that I realised I had started getting more tattoos as a form of ink therapy. Only through trends on TikTok or memes that have circulated have I noticed that this is in fact how I have been helping myself.
There are a few ways this could be viewed as therapy including:
- Having the chance to talk to the tattooist that you’ve built a relationship with
- The tattoos as an alternative to self-harm
- Taking the time out for yourself and doing something you want (just like retail therapy)
I’d say mine is a mixture of all three PLUS a final concept I want to introduce to you.
- Meaningful tattoos that process any kind of trauma by evolving it into a piece of art that can be forever worn as a positive memorial or new armour.
This leads me to my most recent additions which are a result of that relationship that I hadn’t had the opportunity to process. During the years I was with him, I wasn’t allowed to attend my Grandad’s or Auntie’s funeral, along with some other important moments within my family dynamic. You can imagine the continuous hurt this would provide even years after those funerals, read more about my journey in my latest publication From Trauma to Triumph.
This year I finally made a step to remember these two people to which I didn’t get to say goodbye, taking my very own tattoo therapy to a whole new level and into that meaningful space. I am working on a British wildlife tattoo sleeve and each animal, insect or flower has it’s very own meaning.
Not so long ago, two new flowers have made it onto my arm.
Erythronium Keith for my Grandad Keith.
I have fond memories with my Grandad and he had this unique laugh that always made me join in laughing. I remember going to this place called Tiny Walk with him which is where he took my mum and her sisters as children. The Tiny Walk was a place between Hornsea and Withernsea which had a space for two cars to pull up, take a short walk along the field side, pass some air-raid shelters and walk down the small cliffs edge to reach the beach which was a space we never saw another person.
Geranium Phaeum Enid for my Auntie Enid.
My Auntie Enid was a lady who lived next-door to us when I was a child, we would spend so much time with her that we ended up joining our back gardens with a gateway that had an archway above it made out of a bush. I remember going through and climbing the tree in her back garden, often helping her shell peas from their pods and enjoy her company. We had kept in touch for years even after we had both moved to different homes. My brother and I would go to her house every Friday night for tea, she had become like a grandma to us. Her two daughters Jean and Eileen were also a part of this story as they would babysit us and I knew them as the chuckle sisters.
Each one of my tattoos means something different and each part of my British wildlife sleeve has its own meaning. I am thankful to my tattoo artist for working with me especially when it comes to unusual flowers that I’ve found like these two. Amber does a fantastic job and enjoys the story that unfolds from each tattoo.
You can find my sleeve inspiration which is updated for each addition to my sleeve to help Amber bring it to life on my tattoo board here.
Perhaps once it is complete I will create a full photo with a key to display all the meanings of each piece of my sleeve.
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