I have been wanting to tell you for a while and to be honest it’s only just got to the point where I want to pop it all down and confess. This weekend I have been away to visit family and I have hardly had any time to spend on social media. The times I have I have noticed my author friends posting a pic of their books, letting me know it’s a good read for the summer or different ways to read their books. Me… I posted some personal images which was nice. Enjoying the weekend and I notice I hardly ever post about buying my books, a photo of my books, any marketing images. I realised that this was because of my own fears and anxieties. I don’t really know why I don’t but perhaps it’s that I don’t want to over post selling posts. So I confess to this and I’m working on it. I guess I have to because the awareness around them is important as well, getting the balance.
Another confession. I feel like a fraud even when I know I’m not. If you haven’t seen the TED talk by Amy Cuddy then I suggest you do because I ultimately felt like this in some situations especially when I speak to those in the sector (video below). I don’t have a fancy title and I put myself down. BUT HANG ON! I have a wealth of experience and I have had training, I have self learnt a lot, I have spoken with professionals I’ve worked with as well as the local authority and local MP. I’m not a fraud but I still feel like it and thats the difference.
I spoke to someone about this and they said to me; perhaps the most of us always feel like a fraud because we always strive to the next best thing or the better version of us? Therefore you are succeeding because you feel like this. Food for thought.
I also have another confession. I’m a human being, I’m not a robot and I have emotions. Perhaps sometimes I may seem strong but I have a soft centre. This isn’t a bad thing though right? This is good! Because it means I can empathise with others and I care. My job is about helping others and I’ve always done it… Recently my husband pointed out what I’ve always done. Helped people. Through my voluntary work, my gap year, my youth work, my job roles, BizMums and what I’m doing now. In fact he pointed out that perhaps that’s what I saw in my ex abuser, that in fact I simply wanted to help but I couldn’t.
All my confessions here today show a glimpse into the real me and I think the blog cover photo of the iceberg is accurate. I hope you will join in and motivate and encourage me because this is what keeps me strong and going. One day I will know that I can depend on my own confidence but until I have reached that level I know my family, friend, street teamers and more are rooting for me. For that I thank you.
In May I am going to attempt to make more of an effort to share my books on social media. I’m going to work on my confidence and I’m going to work on how to start feeling like I belong. So keep an eye out and feel free to give me a kick up the bum if you don’t see it.
NOTE; I discovered my confidence issue at The Happiness Club Retreat and lately I have become more observant of my life to see how it effects me. I can see it is a huge challenge I have to overcome but recognising is the first step.
Thank you for reading and if you feel like confessing, then do so! I confess a lot through #AuthorConfession via Twitter.
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