I have been wanting to tell you for a while and to be honest it’s only just got to the point where I want to pop it all down and confess. This weekend I have been away to visit family and I have hardly had any time to spend on social media. The times I have I have noticed my author friends posting a pic of their books, letting me know it’s a good read for the summer or different ways to read their books. Me… I posted some personal images which was nice. Enjoying the weekend and I notice I hardly ever post about buying my books, a photo of my books, any marketing images. I realised that this was because of my own fears and anxieties. I don’t really know why I don’t but perhaps it’s that I don’t want to over post selling posts. So I confess to this and I’m working on it. I guess I have to because the awareness around them is important as well, getting the balance.

Another confession. I feel like a fraud even when I know I’m not. If you haven’t seen the TED talk by Amy Cuddy then I suggest you do because I ultimately felt like this in some situations especially when I speak to those in the sector (video below). I don’t have a fancy title and I put myself down. BUT HANG ON! I have a wealth of experience and I have had training, I have self learnt a lot, I have spoken with professionals I’ve worked with as well as the local authority and local MP. I’m not a fraud but I still feel like it and thats the difference.

I spoke to someone about this and they said to me; perhaps the most of us always feel like a fraud because we always strive to the next best thing or the better version of us? Therefore you are succeeding because you feel like this. Food for thought.

I also have another confession. I’m a human being, I’m not a robot and I have emotions. Perhaps sometimes I may seem strong but I have a soft centre. This isn’t a bad thing though right? This is good! Because it means I can empathise with others and I care. My job is about helping others and I’ve always done it… Recently my husband pointed out what I’ve always done. Helped people. Through my voluntary work, my gap year, my youth work, my job roles, BizMums and what I’m doing now. In fact he pointed out that perhaps that’s what I saw in my ex abuser, that in fact I simply wanted to help but I couldn’t.

All my confessions here today show a glimpse into the real me and I think the blog cover photo of the iceberg is accurate. I hope you will join in and motivate and encourage me because this is what keeps me strong and going. One day I will know that I can depend on my own confidence but until I have reached that level I know my family, friend, street teamers and more are rooting for me. For that I thank you.

In May I am going to attempt to make more of an effort to share my books on social media. I’m going to work on my confidence and I’m going to work on how to start feeling like I belong. So keep an eye out and feel free to give me a kick up the bum if you don’t see it.

NOTE; I discovered my confidence issue at The Happiness Club Retreat and lately I have become more observant of my life to see how it effects me. I can see it is a huge challenge I have to overcome but recognising is the first step.

Thank you for reading and if you feel like confessing, then do so! I confess a lot through #AuthorConfession via Twitter.

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14 Comments

  1. Judith Gilmour

    So true for many people Jenny. Well done for sharing and hopefully making others see that feeling like this is natural xx

    PS you know I am a big fan!

    Reply
  2. Sarah Anderson

    It’s always good to be reminded of this. Sometimes it feels like you put in so much work never to get anywhere, especially compared to the people see you around you… but to others, you might look like the embodiment of success!

    Reply
    • jenniferlauragilmour

      You are right there Sarah. In fact my Street teamers said different. Isn’t it funny how your perception is different to what others see? X

      Reply
  3. Rosie Cranie-Higgs

    It’s really valuable to know that other people have such confidence issues – and we can boost each other up together! We’re not frauds, and our voices deserve to be heard ☺️

    Reply
    • jenniferlauragilmour

      I love this, thank you Rosie. We certainly do help one another and a reminder of this is most useful at those times you feel low in confidence. Lucky to have lovely networking groups x

      Reply
  4. Mai

    Don’t ever feel embarrassed about posting about your books. They are so good, and deserve to be seen by the world. xx

    Reply
    • jenniferlauragilmour

      Thank you Mai, thats lovely of you to say. I guess I don’t want to clog up people’s newsfeeds with my book selling posts but then I have in turn not posted enough. If this makes sense. x

      Reply
  5. June M.

    I don’t know why my comment wasn’t posted yesterday, however… I’m the same as you when it comes to sell my books. I just can’t…
    And like you I thought no one will recognised my knowledge and skills, just because I don’t have an UNI degree… but I was wrong. Right people see things.
    By the way… I still don’t know how to sell my books.

    Reply
    • jenniferlauragilmour

      Thank you for that June. I am sure we will learn in time (at least I hope so), from what I’ve seen your marketing is professional and spot on so I wish you congratulations. X

      Reply
  6. mydangblog

    Imposter syndrome—yes, I know it well. Great post!

    Reply
  7. Bernadette

    Hi Jen

    Awww – I hope you feel lighter after sharing the above – a brave post. I know I’ll feel the same when I finally get my book together – I have so much experience of C-PTSD and healing from it, but sometimes when i share things on a Facebook group I’m in, I feel like an imposter. It’s hard sometimes, to believe what happened really happened – because it’s so traumatic and we are not built to carry this much trauma. I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling it, but I know in my head that I’m certainly not an imposter! You are definitely not a fraud – your books prove that beyond doubt. They are so honestly written, you come across as so caring and honest – there is no way you are a fraud. Also – why would we pretend?!! I wouldn’t wish trauma on anyone!

    xx

    Reply
    • jenniferlauragilmour

      Thank you Bernadette, I needed to hear this. What group are you in? I am sure they are supportive of anything you share or do. I’m here waving your flag as well, feel free to message me at any point as I would be delighted to see you on your journey. Xx

      Reply

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