I came across ‘In Sheep’s Clothing’ when I was reading an article online, my cousin had shared it and it interested me. I instantly had to buy the book, not only because of the content but also because there was a fox on the cover. If you don’t know my love for foxes already and what they mean then find out via ‘The Fox Stories’ blog series which is free to read. I knew I was meant to read this book because of the subject on ‘Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People’. It is written by George K. Simon Ph.D. and was released in 2010, it has been updated since then.
A bit about the book:
Dr. George Simon knows how people push your buttons. Your children–especially teens–are expert at it, as is your mate. A co-worker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it. Often those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them. In this eye-opening book, you’ll also discover…
* 4 reasons why victims have a hard time leaving abusive relationships
* Power tactics manipulators use to push their own agendas and justify their behavior
*Ways to redefine the rules of engagement between you and an abuser
* How to spot potential weaknesses in your character that can set you up for manipulation.
*12 tools for personal empowerment to help you maintain greater strength in all relationships
I started reading the In Sheep’s Clothing on Kindle on the 24th April and finished it on 18th May. I did have to be in the right mindset to read this book because of my previous experiences of domestic abuse. I am happy to say it did help me but it was also challenging and upsetting as it made me recognise the behaviour just as the book promised. I had accepted I was a victim and had been abused years ago now but it still opened me up to the realisation of certain behaviour traits of my abuser, I hadn’t seen just how much work they put in to manipulating to get what they want.
It was interesting because many people have often and still ask ‘how did you end up in this situation?’, ‘but you’re not thick’, ‘how could this happen to you?’ and ‘you’re an intelligent woman- didn’t you see it coming?’. This book shows just how much padding work it takes to be that abusive manipulative person.
I knew when the relationship had ended that I had to unknit the world he had created for me. It has taken years to build my confidence and self esteem back up, taught myself how to ignore his covert threats and manipulation. In Sheep’s Clothing happens to come into my life at the right time and has been essential to me recognising that I am again not the only one subjected to this behaviour but also that I have the power to not be subjected to it and believe in myself, my thoughts and my own decisions.
I recommend the read to anyone who is still struggling with their abuser even after an abusive relationship has ended, something we shouldn’t have to be subjected to. It will help you focus and not be miss directed to think that you are what they label you because it is completely wrong and all about the power they want to hold over you.
If you check out the reviews its amazing how its helped so many put the situation into perspective and not only help with a current situation but recognising those people in general.
My review on Amazon and on Goodreads 5 stars:
“I am so delighted to have come across this book via a blog article. I could relate to a lot of the first half of the book and the case studies used. I was abused for several years and still subjected to the manipulative person that abused me. This has helped me see that his behaviour is unacceptable and empowered me to change my behaviour to deal with my abuser which I hadn’t given much thought. I had started to be direct and to the point but this has really helped me look at how to focus and I can deal with it in my thoughts more positively. I can see that he had seen my weaknesses and playing on them even now, some I ignore and don’t address and some have really upset me and I’ve snapped back. I realise I need to be confident in myself and put into place my own self esteem and to not be misdirected.
This book is a valuable tool to those who have been subjected to manipulative people to help see the behaviour for what it is. It’s educating and very well written. I commend the author for educating about this behaviour.”
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