Recently I recorded a podcast with Alison Bird on why she doesn’t leave, it’s available to listen to now on the #AbuseTalk Podcast.
I fell upon the hashtag #WhyIStayed and felt called to share the different reasons as to why I didn’t leave. I’m sharing them on my Twitter (@JenLGilmour) every morning at 8am over the festivities period but I feel it may go beyond that. I’m hoping it highlights the complexities of a relationship that’s abusive and shows that it’s not just as easy to leave. I started tweeting on Monday so there are already a few up to read.
I have had many comments and heard others speak about the questions they get and the opinions of others, “I would have just left”, “I would have hit him back”, “I would have left as soon as it started”, “why didn’t you leave?”. Of course I look back and think the same, why didn’t I leave, why did I let it go on for so long and why did I put up with it. But then I remember, it was progressive and he didn’t just switch on his abusive behaviour. If it wasn’t as simple as reading the ingredients on a tin can, do you think I would have opened that tin can if I had of known?
My debut novel Isolation Junction has the strapline: 100 reasons to leave, 1,000 reasons to stay. I decided on this when I was trying to pre-explain the web of reasons, the cords that tie you down, the way it feels like you have no choice.
Christmas was once a difficult time of the year for me, the bad memories still surface as I come towards the time of the year. I know that there will be many feeling scared, worried and living in fear. That’s why I want to share with everyone #WhyIStayed. Feel free to join in and reply to me with your own, RT my reasons and share this blog post.
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